Au Bon Pain Tuna Garden Salad

John: I like everything about this salad except the salad. It was another of these WET tossed salads. Again with the runny cucumber. Also Au Bon - tuna juice isn't a dressing. Really. The only reason I finished was out of the guilt I felt for throwing down like 10 doughnut holes around 9:30. The high point was the actual tuna. I'll bet its good on a sandwich. Probably won't find out. C-. Boo.

Margaret: Ah, sweet relief, I thought as I opened this salad. I like tuna fish, not tuna, but tuna fish, and here it was in all its glory...WAIT, what is that? Is that a cucumber? IT IS! Wait...what is that? It's a tomato! Oh holy day! Au Bon Pain put more than lettuce and smelly foot cheese in one of their salads! I'm so impressed! I was happy, at first. The salad was dripping wet with too much salad dressing. I tried to make little happy tuna sandwiches with my croutons (like I do with Potbelly's chicken salad salad) but the croutons were wet. Then I tried to put some of the tuna on my bread that was separate, and that didn't taste right either. After about one minute the salad started revealing itself as a slightly scary salad, one with soggy veggies and not that good tuna. Boo Au Bon Pain, my lord, how hard is this for you people? CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Chicago Pita Garden Side Salad

John: I'm going to skip telling you that this little gem of side salad is so full that it bursts its container. B+++++ just like Tokyo Lunchbox. The story today is simple - the staff at Chicago Pita understands service and food. Food service if you will. Always friendly - always remembered - always quick. How many places these days can you say that about? If you like real food, made and served by real people, then Chicago Pita is for you. See you in line. I'm the one wearing dirty jeans.

Margaret: Yup, John is right. Becuase this little side salad was exactly what it was supposed to be, a tomato, a green pepper, tons of fresh lettuce. Exactly right. But I will say that I get other food from them a bunch (I sure do love that chicken gyro) and they always remember, and they're always kind, and they always make sure everyone's getting their food and moving along. The last salad we had from there was delicious (talk about getting chicken right for petes sakes) and we just had such a nice experience with them there today. It makes a lot nicer to go there for lunch, and you know, whether you're getting a salad or a gyro, that its going to be fresh and delicious and it won't be a fight just to order the dang thing. B+

Check out Margaret's Gyro Blog at: maggielovesgyrosbutthinksfetatasteslikebodyodor.blogspot.com

McDonald'sGrilled Chicken Caesar

John: McDonalds has let me down again. The chicken breast has never tasted more injected and juicified. Its also never tasted "less" like anything. I knew that there was chicken in a bite when the bite was hot in my mouth. How can you enjoy a salad that includes the phrase "hot in my mouth"? You can't. Gross yet again. Next time I'm going to ask for the grilled breast to be un-microwaved and see what happens. D --- would have been a B without the chicken breast.

Margaret: Ack. It really is disgusting to eat "hot in my mouth" chicken. This time, I even tried to eat around the chicken and just eat the lettuce (because that's basically all that's there) and it was still gross, becuase you still have unexpected hot chicken explosions in your mouth. Once again there are the slim carrot slices and a tomato or two, but by the time I got to those, I was so sickened, I couldn't even move forward. This is the new millennium people, can we not learn how to deal with chicken? DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Au Bon PainChicken Caesar Asiago Salad

Margaret: FINALLY. For petes sakes Au Bon Pain, if you can make one good salad, you can make more right? Today we had the chicken asiago Caesar Salad and it was great. The chicken was delicious and tasted like real chicken, the cheese was good, the dressing nice and tangy, the breadstick long and sesamish. It was really quite good. I ate my whole thing up, ate it all up. I don’t think I’ve done that with an Au Bon Pain salad yet. Simple, but delicious. Yum. I was going to give it a B, and I thought, why a B? You really liked it! Give it an A! So A it is.

John: I left work at 1:00 on my first summer friday of the summer. The sun was out - we got a table "on" the river - the company was fantastic. This salad had the advantage of being in a GREAT time slot. Like following Sienfeld back in the day. The Single Guy with Jonathan Silverman made it 2 years in that slot. Unlike that attempt at a darker jewish Friends clone, this salad was awesome. At one point I found myself making a mental connecting between the kinda peppery chicken in the salad and my grandmothers kinda peppery chicken in her chicken salad. Thats an automatic A for the whole semester, just like if your college roomate kills themselves. Welcome to the Top 5 Au Bon Pain. For now...

Quizno's Black and Blue

John: Loved it! Its your classic "steak salad" but with deli roast beef instead of actual steak. My favorite from Quiznos by far. Everything was tasty and in good proportions. Fresh and crisp. What else do you need? Love the pita. Not a Potbelly killer but close. A-.

Margaret: Meh. It was okay. It's weird how the "okay" salads are turning out to be the best salads of all. Mediocrity in salads is winning here folks, write your Aldermen. I thought this was okay, I kinda of skipped the rules a bit and didn't get bleu cheese on mine. Because really, I'm going to hate any salad with hell cheese on it, so why even try? Isn't it more fair for me to judge the salad itself and not the hell cheese? Maybe, depends on which place we're getting salads! I thought this was fine. Lots of onion and tomato, the cute triangle container and the yummy pita bread all lead to an A, but the meat! The meat! This was not steak. Oh wait, John says its roast beef, okay fine but no roast beef on the planet is soft and squishy and flat as pancakes. I liked the salad dressing though and barely needed any because it was quite tangy. So for tangy and triangles, I'll give the Black and (no Blue) salad a B+.

Arby's Restaurant Wrap Up

In the end Arby's is as you would expect. OK. I will say this about the Arby's at the Mart: THE SERVICE IS SHIT! Really. When you pay your employees $6 an hour - you are never going to keep somebody long enough for them to get good at their job. Their easy easy job. I swear you have to BEG to order there. Merch Mart Arby's you suck.

Tokyo Lunch BoxSide Salad

Margaret:Yeah, see, this is what makes me mad about the whole salad situation. The goldang Tokyo Lunchbox has one of the best salads at the Mart? Really? YES, really. Small but pure (much like me), this salad has more in it than most of the 6.99 salads do. 'Bout four cukes, some carrots, and a nice bunch of green peppers, why is this so hard people (ahem, Au Bon Pain!). I even liked the dressing, and its not even Ranch! I swear, this is one of the top salads at the Mart. I got the gyoza to accompany my side salad, and it was a delicious little meal. I'm with John, B+.

John: The cheapest salad in the mart. The smallest salad in the mart. Two strikes? Nope. Simple veggies and a bright yuzu dressing for 2 bucks. Nothing more. But more importantly nothing less. I get my raw tuna groove on at Tokyo Lunch Box and this salad is a great way to fill out a meal without spending $20 on lunch. I can't give an A to a side salad so B+++++